Sometimes, your worst enemy is yourself. You know all your weaknesses. You know exactly which buttons to push to get a rise out of yourself. Winning in such a fight is hard because pitting yourself against well, yourself, is like banging your head against the wall.
It takes a lot of courage to take that first step and start a battle against your inner critic. It’s hard to go against what your mind is saying, but it can be done.
If you really want to start thinking positively and change the way you look at things, then you need to read this guide. Make no mistake, this whole process is not going to be easy. But all things worth doing are never easy. So, don’t lose hope, and let me help you win your battle.
1. Start Practicing Positive Affirmations
I don’t know why, but some people think positive affirmations are just empty words. That they are just senseless and meaningless phrases, something that is always said but never meant. And I understand that what with countless posts on social media that
always seem to ooze of “positivity.”
However, positive affirmations are more than that. If said correctly, positive affirmations can turn someone’s day from bad to good. Words are powerful, it can change someone’s mindset. And that kind of power should be used to do good deeds.
You don’t want to tell yourself you can’t do something even though there’s a slight chance you can succeed at that particular task. You’re too afraid to fail, and you’re basically setting yourself up for failure by telling yourself you can’t.
So, the right thing to do is to encourage yourself positively. Tell yourself “you can” “you should” or “you must.” There’s really no reason for you to tell yourself otherwise unless you’re a die-hard pessimist with no hope of ever turning into an optimist.
But, I believe that for as long as we’re alive, we always have the chance and the opportunity to take life by the horns and take it to where we want to go.
To begin with positive affirmations, you’ve got to make sure you believe what you’re saying. Sure, the first few times you say it, it might sound like you’re saying some foreign mumbo-jumbo, something that makes zero sense to you. However, if you choose to believe in what you’re saying, and you MUST believe, then you’ll experience the positive effects shortly.
When you say your affirmations to yourself, say it out loud if you can. Of course, if you’ve got a hundred people within earshot, you may want to tone it down a bit. However, if you’re in the privacy of your room or your office, well, there’s really no harm in talking to yourself, right?
So, if you’re reading this guide from the comfort of your home, try saying this out loud, “I am a positive thinker. I am a doer. I will achieve what I’ve set out to do.”
Read that sentence again. If that makes sense for you, you’ll believe it. And when you say it to yourself, you will say it as you mean it. You will say it with conviction. And because of that, you will go places and achieve what you’ve set out to do!
2. Believe In Yourself And What You Can Do
That’s a nice thought. But how can you believe in yourself when your mind does not agree with you? How do you really believe in yourself when faced with self-doubt?
The truth is believing in yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Without it, you won’t amount to anything, for the most part. Sure, you can get lucky from time to time and catch a break, but trust me when I say you’re not going to get far. Luck can only carry you so much. In the end, it has to be you who has to carry yourself to wherever you want to go. The bigger your dream, the more you should believe in yourself.
There’s no getting around this fact. If you don’t fully believe in yourself, then you’re going to be doubting and second-guessing yourself. As you probably already know, doing either is not going to do you any favors.
If the question, “Can I really do this?” keeps popping up in your head, your answer should be “Yes, I can!” You don’t want to answer in the negative because that’s just going to crush your self-confidence. Instead of going out there chasing your dreams, you’re going to go back into your shell, into your comfort zone.
Would you be any closer to your goals then? You and I both know the answer.
Positive thinking begins with you, don’t ever forget that. If you can’t even muster the courage to trust and believe in yourself, then you’ll find it hard to succeed in other aspects of your life.
Of course, it goes without saying that self-belief has got to be grounded in reality. If it’s based on fantasy, then it doesn’t matter how much you believe in yourself, you’re never going to get there.
If you live in a fantasy world, and you come crashing back down into reality, it’s not going to be pretty. The disappointment that comes with it is going to be a bitter pill to swallow.
3. Learn From Your Failures And Move On
Failing sucks, that’s the hard truth. But just because it does, doesn’t mean you’re just going to give up on life. You’re free to nurse your wounded pride and hide inside your comfort zone for a bit, but don’t take too long. You’ve got to go out sooner or later.
See, that’s the thing. Many people go hide in their comfort zones and don’t ever come out! They stay there because they’re so afraid of failing and getting laughed at by everyone.
Are you in the same spot right now? Are you hiding too?
If you are, then it’s time to come out. Failing is but a normal part of life. If you can’t deal with failure, you’re going to find it hard to think positively about anything in life! You’ll find it hard to go after your dreams because you’re not willing to step outside the
boundaries of your comfort zone.
If you’re truly willing to turn over a new chapter in your life, then you’ve got to learn how to embrace failure. But first, you’ve got to have some closure with those old failures that keep on coming back to haunt you. Massive failures from years ago continue to terrorize you. Face it and say goodbye to it. Then ask yourself if you’ve learned anything from it. Write it down, so you don’t ever forget those important lessons. Trust me, it will come in handy someday.
Acknowledge your failures and start turning them into life lessons.
Where did you go wrong? What could you have done differently?
Make a conscious effort not to do it again. Ask for help or guidance from others if need be. That way you will slowly build your confidence back.
Everyone will fail at some point. This is normal and applies everywhere, even in simple day-to-day living. But learning from failures is part of the journey. Embrace it fully, but don’t be overpowered by your demons. Instead, make it a stepping stone to
becoming a better you.
4. Be Grateful For What You Already Have
There’s a reason why envy is one of the seven deadly sins. It starts small – a dress, delicious food. Then it escalates – travels, relationships, wealth. Next thing you know, it gnaws on your heart and it makes you mad. When you start getting mad you start blaming everyone else, and you lose sight of what the issue really is: you were not able to stop yourself from being jealous or envious.
Human as we are, our eyes tend to wander, and we have a knack for seeing what others have on their back, but not seeing what’s on ours. Stop wishing you were someone else. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that you should not desire anything at all in life. It’s good to have the inspiration to work harder.
What I’m suggesting is that in that desire to have something that others have, you can also be grateful for what you already have. Because if you don’t see the value in what you have and who you are right now, you are missing out on the good things in life.
Be content with what you already have. Everything you have right now — your house, your clothes, your job, your relationships, these are things you probably once wished for. But now that you have them, it’s easy to take them for granted. So, take a step back, take deep breaths, and cherish what you have at the moment. Be grateful for snagging that job, your dream house, or your relationship with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Appreciation can help you look at what you already have with a fresh perspective.
Surround yourself with the right people, such as those who love and appreciate you, and you’re bound to feel pretty awesome.
Make it a habit of spending time with people who matters the most to you.
5. Transform Negative Thoughts Into Positive Ones
This is a direct connection with the first point I mentioned in this guide because it has something to do with actively changing what your mind is telling you to think or say.
Overcoming negative thinking isn’t easy. We all think pretty much automatically. If you’re a negative thinker, the first thoughts that form in your mind are usually negative. So, to overcome it, you need to have a very acute level of self-awareness. You have to recognize when you’re thinking negatively. Let’s use envy again as an example. If you see your coworker or your friend driving around in your dream car, you’d probably think to yourself, “I look better in that car than they ever will.” See, that’s your envy talking.
Now, saying that once in your head is fine, but letting it bother you every time you see that person or that car is another thing altogether. A negative person will hold on to that negative emotion, but a positive thinker will learn to let go. A positive person will say to himself, “He worked hard to buy that car. I’ll work hard too so I can buy one for myself!” With that kind of thinking, you’ll not only motivate yourself, but you’ll also feel good because you didn’t think negatively!
Remember, a negative thought is just that – a thought. But if you let it fester inside you, it’s going to be destructive. It’s like a ticking time bomb, the more you feed your negativity, the more explosive it becomes later on. Before it gets to that point, you’ve got to learn how to detonate it. And you can do that by overcoming your negativity and replacing it with positivity.
You get so much more out of life when you think positively. The world won’t look so bleak. You’ll see opportunities everywhere you look. If you know what you want, you can easily figure out a way to get there. You’re not boxing yourself into a dark corner.
Quite the opposite, in fact. You’ve got the whole world at your feet, ready for you to take it!
A lot of people say that being positive all the time is near impossible. And I agree because we can’t always have positive thoughts in our heads. However, what’s important to mention here is that you shouldn’t let your thoughts control you.
Instead, you should be the one controlling your thoughts. Don’t succumb to negativity. Rise from the ashes and prove to yourself and your loved ones that you can succeed in finding long-lasting happiness and fulfillment.